Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

I was tired of fighting.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

You Can Own This Ultra-Rare Italian Viper - Motor1.com

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Men more likely than women to orgasm from anal penetration, study finds - PsyPost

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What are some other ways to say "you're welcome" in French besides "de rien"?

Be who you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

The odd effects a year in space has on the bodies of astronauts - supercarblondie.com

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

The sadness was still there.

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

And the sadness?

Do you agree that firearms are the most common weapon used in homicides of spouses, intimate partners, children or relatives? Should this data influence gun control policies?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Why are people so terrified or bothered that a person has original creative ideas, hobbies or unique interests?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

This seed is rich in protein, magnesium, and helps grow muscle mass - Earth.com

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.